i'll never understand women
How many times have you said that this week (today?!) lads?
Admittedly, on the face of it, it seems like quite a negative, defeatist attitude. I've been doing some thinking about it recently and I believe it's a bit more complex than that.
Us guys tend to do OK with the "what" of keeping women happy - you know...
"if i go to her mothers with her"
"if i send her flowers to apologise for a row that wasn't even my fault"
"if i don't get caught in bed with her best friend"
Whether or not we conform, of course, is another matter. The point being, we understand the logistics of it all.
What we really struggle with is the "Why?!"
"why is it ok for her to do that but not for me?"
"why does it make a difference?"
and, the all time number one...
"why does she react like that?"
I put it to you that womens reactions, feelings, nay, their whole psyches are a curious hotchpotch of instinctual desires and learned behaviours. Their natural hormonal balance is enough to clearly express, as well as achieve, their desires. Combine this with the army of glossy magazines and TV programmes constantly telling them what to do/think/see/feel and us poor guys don't stand a chance. Most days, they're not even sure what is missing from their lives but those magazines are sure as hell telling them there's something!
"So what if your man is the perfect gentleman, does he give you 90 orgasms a night?"
"Eat eat eat but be slim slim slim"
"Longer eyelashes WILL make you more successful"
I'm not saying that guys are much better - that's what people are, an icky mess of instinctual territorial and reproductive desires, combined with some sort of crazy belief that we're way above all that now. A wise man once said "It's a wise man who knows that he knows nothing". I think the sooner we accept that our desires/instincts are really not that far removed from our base, animal ones, the sooner we can recognise them for what they are and try and deal with them. Instead of denying them.
So come on girls, next time you feel jealous about some other female, examine your feelings closely. Have we actually done anything wrong or is it an instinctual "protect my mate" feeling? And next time we fart in bed, we'll carefully examine if it's designed to drive you away in favour of a more virile partner...
posted by Simon @ 7:48 am
2 comments
2 Comments:
What's the point in even trying to analyse them Si? It gets you nowhere in the end - except full of self-doubt. Life is too short to be doing too much of the "what". Everyone of us - male or female - is totally mixed up. Once both parties (or more if you are lucky) understand that - then things become a lot easier. If she can't consider and take your "inadequacies" on board (and vice-versa)- move on boy!
Golden rule #1: Don't fart in bed or in public unless it's a medical emergency
Golden rule #2: Yes, don't deny animal instincts. But you have a brain - you CAN rationalise them.
Golden rule #3: The more orgasms they have - they more they want. You just cannot win here.
Golden rule #4: Celibacy is better than a bad relationship.
Perhaps this is why Si likes programming so much - everything happens for a reason. Some times it's not entirely obvious why something is broken but at least it's never because 'it just feels like it', and how many times does the client say "fine, do what you like".
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